Why did I want to write and share the experience of mine?
When I was going through a tough time no one was there, not a friend who can understand, not cousins who suppose to be my age or parents who can act as parents, they were still playing child while I was parenting them. That time I was always wondering if someone could be here to guide me that would be so nice. I know and I always knew that tough time comes to everyone and we have to go through that and I am Ok with it. All I wanted to have a little mental support.
Yes, mental support is the biggest support someone can give. If you have mental support you can pass through any situation no matter how tough it is going to be. You can ease your mind by just sharing your thoughts and discussing your ideas outside of your mind. But unfortunately, I haven't had that support, that's when I had decided that I will share my thoughts and it's going to help the people who are now at that place where I was back then. Though I hadn't anyone to guide me, from my experience I want to be there for someone ...That's called mental support.
There are three types of supports: Physical, mental, and financial.
No doubt you have to work for all aspects, and all the aspects are linked with each other. But the mental support is the key in all. For instance, when I was in college, I came to know that my father had cancer and we didn't have any savings. so our financial factor got weak here, or you can say negligible. No family support for the study, no mental support no guidance, nothing. But, yeah whoever used to come to our house to ask the health of my father all had suggestions for me, amongst them most of the common suggestion was now I should drop out from college and do marriage. Some would also like to connect their logic with it that as my father was on the edge of death it would be his wish to see me getting married. I am sure so many of you out there facing the same situation or may have faced, and right now agreeing with me on previous thought. And you might be wondering in the search of person or mentor who can understand your mental fights.
Let me make your mind clear here. There are some possibilities; first, All those suggestions givers have no right to judge your life in the first place. Second, there are also possibilities that they could not find any thought from their brain to talk with you, and as they have come there and just to seek of feeling the gap they are giving suggestions. Third, they might have genuinely cared for you and from those prospects, they are giving you suggestions according to their knowledge only. After all, it's your life and only you know how it is going and how you should direct it. others will only see what you have allowed them to see, but you know all the insides of you.
After questioning such questions inside your head, you will start to gather pieces of information about the things you want in your life. When I asked these questions I realized that I wanted to finish my study. I was not even any near to get married and got settled with someone whom I don't know. So, I just ignored others opinion and also realized why others opinions are not important to me when I asked my self do I want the same life they are living right now after 5 to 7 years. Because whatever they can suggest would always be according to there knowledge and surroundings. and if you can not fit your self over that situation, then definitely that advice is not going to be helpful to you. you need to find an ideal person, like whom you want to become or if you do not want to be like someone, be your ideal and make your own path, Which will lead you to a satisfactory life. you won't need to blame anyone in your life to make decisions for yourself.
So, the question will arise how one can lead their own path without even knowing? here, the answer would be you have to ask your inner soul. There two possibilities could happen, either you know what you want and why? or you don't know what you want but you also know what you don't want. In the first case your inner soul gave you a clear answer, but what if the second possibility happens to you. then you have to keep your options alive and keep working on it. but the good point is you know what you don't want so your options are decreasing. After that whatever the options are left all you have to do is accept with all your heart and work on it. while working on it you start to realize what things are working for you and what you just have to delete from your list.as time passes your list minimizes and at one period of time you reached a place where you finally know what you want to do. I know it is not as simple as it sounds. so many difficulties and barriers might have come to your path. but once you start to walk on a path which your heart has decided, eventually all the barriers seem tiny as you are enjoying the things you are doing.
In this process the first thing comes is to set up your mind, for that your mental strength is very much important. There are possibilities that your very dear ones may stand against you, don't support you, or even try to weaken you with emotional blackmail. In this situation, the first thing you can do is to calm your mind and thought thoroughly and very deeply. Remind your self why you choose to walk on this path in the first place, and all your secondary thoughts start to translucent and by the time get vanished. This is the mental support you have to build for your self if others are not there for you...!!!
When I was going through a tough time no one was there, not a friend who can understand, not cousins who suppose to be my age or parents who can act as parents, they were still playing child while I was parenting them. That time I was always wondering if someone could be here to guide me that would be so nice. I know and I always knew that tough time comes to everyone and we have to go through that and I am Ok with it. All I wanted to have a little mental support.
Yes, mental support is the biggest support someone can give. If you have mental support you can pass through any situation no matter how tough it is going to be. You can ease your mind by just sharing your thoughts and discussing your ideas outside of your mind. But unfortunately, I haven't had that support, that's when I had decided that I will share my thoughts and it's going to help the people who are now at that place where I was back then. Though I hadn't anyone to guide me, from my experience I want to be there for someone ...That's called mental support.
There are three types of supports: Physical, mental, and financial.
No doubt you have to work for all aspects, and all the aspects are linked with each other. But the mental support is the key in all. For instance, when I was in college, I came to know that my father had cancer and we didn't have any savings. so our financial factor got weak here, or you can say negligible. No family support for the study, no mental support no guidance, nothing. But, yeah whoever used to come to our house to ask the health of my father all had suggestions for me, amongst them most of the common suggestion was now I should drop out from college and do marriage. Some would also like to connect their logic with it that as my father was on the edge of death it would be his wish to see me getting married. I am sure so many of you out there facing the same situation or may have faced, and right now agreeing with me on previous thought. And you might be wondering in the search of person or mentor who can understand your mental fights.
Let me make your mind clear here. There are some possibilities; first, All those suggestions givers have no right to judge your life in the first place. Second, there are also possibilities that they could not find any thought from their brain to talk with you, and as they have come there and just to seek of feeling the gap they are giving suggestions. Third, they might have genuinely cared for you and from those prospects, they are giving you suggestions according to their knowledge only. After all, it's your life and only you know how it is going and how you should direct it. others will only see what you have allowed them to see, but you know all the insides of you.
So, all you can do listen to their suggestions, take something from that if you felt it is going to be helpful, it's seizing the good thoughts for your self from another perspective, other than yours. Hold that with your thoughts and rest all just ignore. there is one saying in Hindi: Suno sabki, karo apne man ki. (listen to everyone, do what your hearts tells you to)Let's understand this with the above instincts when others were forcing me to do something which I did not want to and giving suggestions about my life I asked some of the questions to myself, which were helpful to me then and even in present life also.
- What is actually I want?
- Why I want that?
- What others are suggesting is anywhere meaningful to you?
- Others thinking are near to put worth thinking about it?
After questioning such questions inside your head, you will start to gather pieces of information about the things you want in your life. When I asked these questions I realized that I wanted to finish my study. I was not even any near to get married and got settled with someone whom I don't know. So, I just ignored others opinion and also realized why others opinions are not important to me when I asked my self do I want the same life they are living right now after 5 to 7 years. Because whatever they can suggest would always be according to there knowledge and surroundings. and if you can not fit your self over that situation, then definitely that advice is not going to be helpful to you. you need to find an ideal person, like whom you want to become or if you do not want to be like someone, be your ideal and make your own path, Which will lead you to a satisfactory life. you won't need to blame anyone in your life to make decisions for yourself.
So, the question will arise how one can lead their own path without even knowing? here, the answer would be you have to ask your inner soul. There two possibilities could happen, either you know what you want and why? or you don't know what you want but you also know what you don't want. In the first case your inner soul gave you a clear answer, but what if the second possibility happens to you. then you have to keep your options alive and keep working on it. but the good point is you know what you don't want so your options are decreasing. After that whatever the options are left all you have to do is accept with all your heart and work on it. while working on it you start to realize what things are working for you and what you just have to delete from your list.as time passes your list minimizes and at one period of time you reached a place where you finally know what you want to do. I know it is not as simple as it sounds. so many difficulties and barriers might have come to your path. but once you start to walk on a path which your heart has decided, eventually all the barriers seem tiny as you are enjoying the things you are doing.
In this process the first thing comes is to set up your mind, for that your mental strength is very much important. There are possibilities that your very dear ones may stand against you, don't support you, or even try to weaken you with emotional blackmail. In this situation, the first thing you can do is to calm your mind and thought thoroughly and very deeply. Remind your self why you choose to walk on this path in the first place, and all your secondary thoughts start to translucent and by the time get vanished. This is the mental support you have to build for your self if others are not there for you...!!!
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